Midnight ramblings

I haven't posted since being a mom of 3.  Quite frankly, I am not sure anyone but me will read this. 
Way back I posted how differently I felt after each of the other 2 birth.  So here is my recap and recall of #3.  With Kelvan,  I wanted to share him with the world because I felt the world helped me.  With Brenton, I wanted to hold him tight and protect him from the world.  In some ways I still do this with him.  With Dextin it was strange.  As soon as he was born I felt like he had always been here and yet I couldn't get over the fact that he was real.   I'm not sure if I wanted to share him or hold him tight.  It was bizarre because I wanted both. 
Knowing Dextin was our last I have tried to savor every moment of him.  The midnight feedings, the needing to be held.  He's my baby.  I feel so blessed to have 3 healthy and happy boys.
This week we went through and gave away the newborn and 0-3 month clothes.  I was fine until the message telling me they had been dropped off.  There is a bit of sadness.  This is my last snuggle times and I realize this.  But I also realize this is the last Late night snuggles, the last midnight bottles, the last diapers.  There is so much about this itty bitty little family.