when they were born.

recently i was pointed towards this incredible blog post http://kellehampton.com (go to the Start here if you are new) it's about a mom and her feelings on the birth of her second daughter. while reading this i went from, "i cannot believe this woman" to feeling terrible for her and wanting to hold her new precious little one, to finding her remarkable for her strength. but reading this made me reflect upon my own boys.

i remember when kelvan was born, i was scared and excited all at once. i was finally going to meet my little man. when he finally came into this world i remember that i just wanted mike to hold him. i think that part of me felt like i had had the chance to experience him for 9 months. we had gone through so much to have him that i really just wanted mike to hold him. by the end of the day, when everyone had held him i couldn't wait to get a hold of him and snuggle him. he was perfect.

when i was later into my pregnancy with brenton i remember i cried a lot. i cried that i would ruin kelvan's life, i cried that i was ruining brenton's life. i know a lot of the emotion had to do with hormones, but some of it was just how i felt. when he finally joined us in this world i just held him and kissed him. i never wanted to let him go. there was something about him that just made me want to protect him (perhaps it was a 2 year old brother). all my fears went away when the two tiny loves of my life met. kelvan loved brenton more than i ever thought he could.

i guess i had never thought about how i felt when they were born until i read about that tiny little baby. i have never been happier then when i have both boys snuggled up with me.